On Buying a Field
A Muse
You knew you were onto something when you first found it. It was in your back yard and it came as a realization of something inside and around you. But there was not a full understanding yet. It was painful at that time. It was painful because you realized you had been wrong all along. The pain was maybe a mourning of the lost time.
In that moment you wanted to tell people but guarded the secret because you knew you had found something you did not yet possess. Something beautiful, something valuable. The most valuable thing of all. And though it was free, you needed to possess the land it resided on.
At first you did not know how. You did not quite know what it was. You knew you needed it but did not understand the value of purchasing the land. But you did-you did purchase the land because that much you knew from the parable. And you did not tell very many people because you did not want to lose it before you owned it. It’s funny how you just knew that from the parable.
And then, once you owned the land and began to explore it, you found something really special. The thing was not just a thing. It was. It was in the sense that the thing was the land. Not just an object but a way of seeing all objects. And it was not just that land, but all lands. You had unlocked all the land in all the worlds.
Not to possess and pillage, but to witness. Like a pass to everything. A key to unlock all doors. The key to see. To feel. To experience. To smell. To taste and see that He is good. To witness.
And you can go back whenever you need. You can explore the land you now own. Land you always could have owned. It was your inheritance all along. An inheritance you squandered on anger and disbelief. On self loathing. You had trampled on other land and did not understand it was also yours. The anger had come when others walked through your land. The very land that you refused to acknowledge was yours. Why did you get angry if you did not believe it was your land?
Anyway, that does not matter because you own it now. And it is not just the thing, the treasure is all of it. Each day you experience it deeper as you move towards the voice. As you hold the treasure in your heart. Each day you feel that treasure more and see it displayed around you. “Taste and see”, He says to you. And when you do, you laugh at all the times you did not accept. This is good.
There are days when you still find yourself picking up the empty calories from food that does not nourish. It looks delicious but that is precisely the lie. That leaves you feeling sick and exhausted and still hungry. That is okay. One day the only thing you will ever want is to nourish your soul in Him. Him from whom all blessings flow.
“The kingdom of heaven is like unto a treasure hidden in the field; which a man found, and hid; and in his joy he goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.” -Matthew 13:44

Thank you for writing this. It touched me deeply.